Archive for Fun
The pastor and his wife
On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and
decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM,
but his wife didn’t answer the phone.
The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she
didn’t answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a
few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her
why she hadn’t answered before, and she said that it hadn’t rung at
their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry
ways.
The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office,
which was the phone that he’d used that Saturday night. The man that he
spoke with wanted to know why he’d called on Saturday night.
The pastor couldn’t figure out what the man was talking about. Then the
man said, ‘It rang and rang, but I didn’t answer.’ The pastor remembered
the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he’d
intended to call his wife.
The man said, ‘That’s, OK. Let me tell you my story.
You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before
I did, I prayed, ‘God if you’re there, and you don’t want me to do this,
give me a sign now.’ At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at
the caller ID, and it said, ‘Almighty God’. I was afraid to answer!’
The reason why it showed on the man’s caller ID that the call came from
‘Almighty God’ is because the church that the pastor attends is called
Almighty God Tabernacle!!If you believe that God answers prayers then pass this on. God bless!
READ EACH SENTENCE SLOWLY AND THINK ABOUT IT.
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don’t cry over anyone who won’t cry over you.
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to
forget.
Don’t let the past hold you back, you’re missing the good stuff.
BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look ahead, you can
look beside you and your BEST FRIEND will be there.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Send this on to everyone special in your life, even the people who
really make you mad sometimes and to the people whose lives you want to
be in!!!
And send it back to the person who sent it to you if they mean something
to you!! Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of
happiness wasted.
Just send this to as many people you want and see what happens on the fourth day.
Do not break this, please. There is no cost, but lots of rewards…
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don’t cry over anyone who won’t cry over you.
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to
forget.
Don’t let the past hold you back, you’re missing the good stuff.
BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look ahead, you can
look beside you and your BEST FRIEND will be there.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Send this on to everyone special in your life, even the people who
really make you mad sometimes and to the people whose lives you want to
be in!!!
And send it back to the person who sent it to you if they mean something
to you!! Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of
happiness wasted.
Just send this to as many people you want and see what happens on the fourth day.
Do not break this, please. There is no cost, but lots of rewards…
The priest and a boy
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, “Dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes it is.”
Boy- “I have a baseball.”
Man- “That’s nice.”
Boy- “Want to buy it?”
Man- “No, thanks.”
Boy- “My dad’s outside.”
Man- “OK, how much?”
Boy- “$250.”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
Boy- “Dark in here.”
Man- “Yes, it is.”
Boy- “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”
Boy- “$750.”
Man- “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball back and forth.”
The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
The son says “$1,000.”
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that sh*t again.”
The doctor and a woman
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: \’Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I\’m pregnant again. I don\’t want kids so close together.\’
So the doctor said: \’Ok and what do you want me to do?\’
She said: \’I want you to end my pregnancy, and I\’m counting on your help with this.\’
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: \’I think I have a better solution for your problem. It\’s less dangerous for you too.\’ She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: \’You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let\’s kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we\’re going to kill one of them, it doesn\’t matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.’
The lady was horrified and said: \’No doctor! How terrible! It\’s a crime to kill a child! \’I agree\’, the doctor replied. \’But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.’ The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.
He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that\’s already been born and one that\’s still in the womb.
The crime is the same!
HERE’S THE TEST!
1. Pick your favorite color out of the following:
Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Purple
2. Pick your favorite animal out of the following:
Cat
Dog
Fish
Snake
Parrot
Mouse
3. Pick your desired honeymoon spot:
Hawaii
New York
East Africa
Spain
Montana
4. Pick your favorite instrument:
Violin
Piano
Electric Guitar
Drums
5. Pick your favorite soft drink:
Sprite
Coca Cola,
Mountain Dew
Pepsi
**
*
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
***********
************
************ *
************ **
************ ***
************ ****
************ *****
************ ******
************ *******
************ ********
************ *********
************ ********* *
************ *********
************ ********
************ *******
************ ******
************ *****
************ ****
************ ***
************ **
************ *
************
***********
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
***********
************
************ *
************ **
************ ***
************ ****
************ *****
************ ******
************ *******
************ ********
************ *********
************ ********* *
************ *********
************ ********
************ *******
************ ******
************ *****
************ ****
************ ***
************ **
************ *
************
***********
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
***********
************
************ *
************ **
************ ***
************ ****
************ *****
************ ******
************ *******
************ ********
************ *********
************ ********* *
************ *********
************ ********
************ *******
************ ******
************ *****
************ ****
************ ***
************ **
************ *
************
***********
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
***********
************
************ *
************ **
************ ***
************ ****
************ *****
************ ******
************ *******
************ ********
************ *********
************ ********* *
************ *********
************ ********
************ *******
************ ******
************ *****
************ ****
************ ***
************ **
************ *
************
***********
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
***********
************
************ *
************ **
************ ***
************ ****
************ *****
************ ******
************ *******
************ ********
************ *********
************ ********* *
************ *********
************ ********
************ *******
************ ******
************ *****
************ ****
************ ***
************ **
************ *
************
***********
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
2. Cat – Feminine
Dog – Loving
Fish – Boring
Snake – Boyish
Parrot – Annoying
Mouse – Brainy
3. Hawaii – Romantic
New York – Busy
East Africa – Curious
Spain – Mysterious
Montana – Country Girl/Boy
4. Violin – Intellectual
Piano – Popular
Electric Guitar – Wacky
Drums – Wild
5.Sprite – Wacky
Coca Cola – Wild
Mountain Dew – Athletic
Pepsi- Fun
Learning English by Uncle Teng 