Posts Tagged Laughter

My mother can

My mother can

A teacher asked one of the boys in her class,

“Can people predict the future with cards?” His response was,

My mother can.” 

The teacher replied,

Really?” 

The young boy was quick to explain,

Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home”.

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Malaysian Laughter

You might like it.

This is hilarious… ..

even an Englishman cannot

construct sentences using numeric,

which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.


Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,   2,   3,   4,  5,  6,  7,   8,   9,  10.
Not only did he do it 1 to 10

 he did it again from 10 back to 1.

This is what he came up with…..

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10
I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven.  Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6.  He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don’t understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don’t know what he 1.

Uncle Teng

 

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An Arab student

An Arab student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying:

 

Dear Dad

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser

The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:

My dear loving son

Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Love, your Dad

 

 

 

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If my body was a car

 

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Only four questions

Laught out loud

NICE QUESTIONS LITTLE ANGELS……

IT’S NOT SO TOUGH BUT NEED SOME LOGICAL MIND 

SO HERE I’M WITH MY LOGICAL ANSWERS HOPE YOU FIND SOME RIGHT………

 Q: WHEN WILL A HORSE HAVE 6 LEGS?

 

Q: WHERE DOES MONDAY COME BEFORE SUNDAY?

 

Q: WHERE DO YOU FIND A LOT OF CITIES BUT NOT A HOUSE?

 

Q: HOW CAN YOU DOUBLE YOUR MONEY?

 

 HOPE YOU ENJOYED ALL ……HAVE A NICE DAY AHEAD.

 

Ans: When I ride it (4 legs of horse and 2 mines)

 

Ans: Monday come before Sunday only in DICTIONARY right?

 

Ans: On Globe or any city map

 

Ans: So simple little angels you can also do……

          you want to double your money?

          Ok then just go to mirror and show your money.

 

tengkp

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A very depressed man

 

There’s a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand seeing a man crying.”

“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I’m late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and my wife wanted a divorce. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”

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Heaven and hell

 Choose Heaven and Hell

   

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter.
“Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

 

“No problem, just let me in,” said the woman.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in.”

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven”, said the woman

“Sorry, we have rules…” And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

                       The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends – fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
                        She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. “So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,”

                    The woman paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
                    When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
                   The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her “I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

                     The Devil looked at her smiled and told…

“Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re an Employee”

  

 

 

 

 

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