One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” said the woman.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in.”
“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven”, said the woman
“Sorry, we have rules…” And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends – fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. “So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,”
The woman paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her “I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”
The Devil looked at her smiled and told…
“Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re an Employee”
This is a true story of a young college girl, Priya who passed away last month at Shah Alam. She was hit by a lorry. I don’t want to mention the name of the college. She had a boyfriend named Shankar. He lives in Johore. Both of them are true lovers. They are always on the phone with each other. You can never see her without her hand phone.
She spends much of the day talking with Shankar. Priya’s family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya’s family (just imagine their love). She used to tell her friends that if she happens to pass away she would like to be cremated together with her hand phone. She also said the same thing to her parents.
When she died, people couldn’t carry her coffin. I was there, many of them tried to do so but still couldn’t , everybody including me had tried to carry the coffin, the result was still the same.
Eventually, they called their neighbour, a “bomoh” from Thailand (Pak Darin), who is a friend of her father. He took a seat and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said “this girl misses something here”. Then her friends told Darin bout her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and placed her phone together with the SIM card inside the casket.
After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could now be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked. (can you feel the fear? I’m shaking at this moment.)
Priya’s parents didn’t inform Shankar that Priya had passed away (pity Shankar). After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya’s mom.
Shankar: “Atte, I’m coming home today. Please cook something nice for me. Don’t tell Priya that I’m coming home today; I want to surprise her.”
Her mother replied, “You come home first, I want to tell you something very important.”
After he arrived at Shah Alam, they told him the truth about Priya. Shankar thought that they were fooling around. He was laughing and said, “Don’t try to fool me … tell Priya to come out …… I have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense.”
Then they show him the Priya’s death certificate; they gave him proof to make him believe.
Shankar started to sweat profusely. He said, “It’s not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking so badly when suddenly, his phone rang.”See this is from Priya. See this …….” he showed the phone to Priya’s family. All of them told him to answer. He used the loudspeaker mode.All of them heard this conversation, loud and clear. No cross lines, no humming.
It was Priya’s voice! And there was no way others could use her SIM card as it was nailed inside the coffin!
They were so shocked and asked for pak Darin’s help.
Pak Darin brought his master (Tok Chen) to solve this matter. He and Pak Darin worked for 5 hours ….. then they discovered one thing …….
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver said: “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”
The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years…….