Archive for Relationship Boy and Girl

Top 10 myths of Marriages

Top 10 myths of Marriages

 

With nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, many couples are starting to re-evaluate their relationships.But before you start any heady analysis, it’s important to know the facts from the myths when it comes to marriage.#1 Myth: Because of the high divorce rate, which weeds out the unhappy marriages, people who stay married have happier marriages than people did in the past when everyone stuck it out, no matter how bad the marriage.

Fact: According to what people have reported in several large national surveys, the general level of happiness in marriages has not increased and probably has declined slightly. Some studies have found in recent marriages, compared to those of 20 or 30 years ago, significantly more work-related stress, more marital conflict and less marital interaction.

#2 Myth: Cohabitation is just like marriage, but without “the piece of paper.”

Fact: Cohabitation typically does not bring the benefits — in physical health, wealth and emotional wellbeing — that marriage does. In terms of these benefits, cohabitants in the United States more closely resemble singles than married couples. This is due, in part, to the fact that cohabitants tend not to be as committed as married couples, and they are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy and less to the wellbeing of their partner.

#3 Myth: Married people have less satisfying sex lives, and less sex, than single people.

Fact: According to a large-scale national study, married people have both more and better sex than do their unmarried counterparts. Not only do they have sex more often, but they also enjoy it more, both physically and emotionally.

#4 Myth: Marrying puts a woman at greater risk of domestic violence than her single counterpart.

Fact: Contrary to the proposition that for men “a marriage license is a hitting license,” a large body of research shows that being unmarried — and especially living with a man outside of marriage — is associated with a considerably higher risk of domestic violence for women. One reason for this finding is that married women may significantly underreport domestic violence. Further, women are less likely to marry and more likely to divorce a man who is violent. Yet it is probably also the case that married men are less likely to commit domestic violence because they are more invested in their wives’ wellbeing, and more integrated into the extended family and community. These social forces seem to help check men’s violent behavior.

#5 Myth: People can’t be expected to stay in a marriage for a lifetime as they did in the past because we live so much longer today.

Fact: Unless our comparison goes back a hundred years, there is no basis for this belief. The enormous increase in longevity is due mainly to a steep reduction in infant mortality. And while adults today can expect to live a little longer than their grandparents, they also marry at a later age. The life span of a typical, divorce-free marriage, therefore, has not changed much in the past 50 years. Also, many couples call it quits long before they get to a significant anniversary: Half of all divorces take place by the seventh year of a marriage.

#6 Myth: Couples who live together before marriage, and are thus able to test how well suited they are for each other, have more satisfying and longer-lasting marriages than couples who do not.

Fact: Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have less satisfying marriages and a considerably higher chance of eventually breaking up. One reason is that people who cohabit may be more skittish of commitment and more likely to call it quits when problems arise. But in addition, the very act of living together may lead to attitudes that make happy marriages more difficult. The findings of one recent study, for example, suggest “there may be less motivation for cohabiting partners to develop their conflict resolution and support skills.” (One important exception: Cohabiting couples who are already planning to marry each other in the near future have just as good a chance at staying together as couples who don’t live together before marriage).

#7 Myth: The more educated a woman becomes, the lower are her chances of getting married.

Fact: A recent study based on marriage rates in the mid-1990s concluded that today’s women college graduates are more likely to marry than their non-college peers, despite their older age at first marriage. This is a change from the past, when women with more education were less likely to marry.

#8 Myth: The keys to long-term marital success are good luck and romantic love.

Fact: Rather than luck and love, the most common reasons couples give for their long-term marital success are commitment and companionship. They define their marriage as a creation that has taken hard work, dedication and commitment (to each other and to the institution of marriage). The happiest couples are friends who share lives and are compatible in interests and values.

#9 Myth: Having children typically brings a married couple closer together and increases marital happiness.

Fact: Many studies have shown that the arrival of the first baby commonly has the effect of pushing the mother and father farther apart, and bringing stress to the marriage. However, couples with children have a slightly lower rate of divorce than childless couples.

#10 Myth: Marriage benefits men much more than women.

Fact: Contrary to earlier and widely publicized reports, recent research finds men and women to benefit about equally from marriage, although in different ways. Both men and women live longer, happier, healthier and wealthier lives when they are married. Husbands typically gain greater health benefits, while wives gain greater financial advantages.

 

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How to End a Short Term Relationship

How to End a Short Term Relationship

 

Have you just started a new relationship and you are already questioning it?

Here are the few steps you need to follow if you already want to get out of this new relationship

1. Sometimes you start a relationship and you start wondering how you ever got here in the first place. Obviously if you have started dating someone, there must have been reasons for you to get involved: a certain physical attraction, nice moments you spent with this person, and then a kiss, which defines the moment you started a relationship.

2. But here you are, a few days or even weeks into this new relationship and you don’t feel comfortable in it. You’ve already reached the point where you’re trying to figure out how to get out of it while not hurting your new partner too much.

3. First thing first: try to make sure you do not want to pursue the relationship. No point in telling your partner you don’t feel like going on if you’re going to come back begging a few days later. So give yourself a little bit of time to be sure of your feeling.

4. Have you had an argument and are you mad at him/her? Sometimes people can surprise you and you discover things about them you wouldn’t have imagined in the first place. Are those differences incompatible with the way you picture a happy relationship? If they are, then yes, there is no reason in getting more involved. If these bad feelings have a specific reason, maybe it would be good to talk about it to your partner.

5. But more importantly just trust your feeling because this is the easiest clue to your new relationship’s future. If you haven’t been together long and you’re already bored, less attracted, even annoyed, or if you’ve realized this is more about friendship than possible love, don’t lure yourself into thinking “you can make it work”. You won’t overcome your first feelings. Trust yourself.

6. How to end a short-term relationship?

Well the same way you would end any relationship. Be honest and straight-forward. Don’t give false excuses but just tell the truth. It may not be easy because you may fear that your partner won’t understand your reasons (after all you don’t know him that well); but all this is not about rational reasons. It is only about the way you feel. And if you feel there is no chance in this relationship don’t apologize for it. You can’t make your feelings go away just by listening to apparently sound reasons. We have all at some point, left someone who tried to talk us out of it by pointing out the efforts he/she was going to make to adapt to what we wanted. But if someone has to change in the first place so that a relationship could work out, it is definitely a huge sign that you are not meant for each-other. So stand your ground. It’s the best you can do for this person, even if he/she can’t see it right now. And it’s certainly the best you can do for yourself.

7. The last step:

Of course as with any relationship, even if you haven’t been together a long time, don’t think you can go back to a normal friendship straight away. It is probably the biggest lie we like to tell ourselves to appease the pain that breaking up implies. But give yourselves some time apart to learn how to be together again in a non-sentimental way. If the relationship was short it won’t take as long as it might have with a longer one.

Tips
One thing ending a short-term relationship can bring you is to analyze the reasons why you chose to start a relationship with this particular person in the first place. Analyze the circumstances and why you obviously made a mistake because this will give you some indications about what not to do in the future.

 

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How to find a good guy?

 

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

 Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
 Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead..
 Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
 Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
 Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
 Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, “

…that’s her.”

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