An old grandfather
OUT of a clear blue sky, Sam receives an invitation from his grandfather, who is over the hill, to spend a few days at the latter’s home in a secluded rural area.
The old fellow is like a dog with two tails when he sees his only grandchild, greeting him with a cordial two-handed shake and saying, “Long time no see.”
The two men have an enjoyable evening listening to Foster & Allen songs and chatting about this and that.
The next morning, Sam’s grandfather prepares a tasty breakfast of eggs sunny-side up and open-faced sandwiches with cheese and mirabelle jam. Sam notices a film-like substance on his plate, and asks his grandfather, “Are the plates clean?”
“They are as clean as cold water can get them,” his grandfather replies. “Just you go ahead and savour the meal, Sammy.”
For lunch, the host prepares hot dogs and chicken burgers. At first blush, the food looks delicious, but then Sam notices tiny specks around the edge of his plate that look like the eggy remnants of a previous meal.
Wrinkling his forehead, he asks his grandfather, “Grandpa, are the plates clean?”
Shaking his head in irritation, the old-timer says, “I’ve told you before that they are as clean as cold water can get them. I don’t want to hear any misstatements about the crockery.”
Later that afternoon, with a brilliant sun shining from a turquoise sky, Sam decides to go to town to get some groceries. As he is tying his shoelaces, his grandfather’s crotchety dog starts to growl threateningly.
Sam hollers, “Grandpa, could you please leash the dog?”
The old geezer is watching the live telecast of a football match. With his eyes glued to the small screen, he shouts, “Cold Water, come here quick and get a moiety of my pie!”
By OH TEIK THEAM
Meaning below:
Out of a clear blue sky / Out of the blue: Unexpectedly.
Over the hill: Old.
Like a dog with two tails: Very happy.
Long time no see: It has been a long time since we last met.
This and that: Various things.
Sunny-side up: (Of an egg) fried on one side only, with the yolk uppermost.
Go ahead: To begin or continue something.
At first blush: When first seen.
Glued to: Paying full attention to.
Small screen: Television.
Learning English by Uncle Teng 
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