Learning English by Uncle Teng

In 2007, during one of our company’s management retreat in Chiangmai, I requested for a room transfer the next morning as the room which I was staying in was quite noisy which had kept me awake the whole night. The sound came from the water cooling system which was outside my room’s window.  I was later transferred to another room, diagonally two level up with the help of one staff who before allowing me to enter, knocked twice on the door. I was curious and asked him but he just smiled and said that it was a habit. I subsequently learnt that the knocking is to inform “those special visitors” to leave the room. Anyway, the room was not chilly and there were no goosebums. My subsequent stay was quite peaceful.

Some beliefs of the hoteliers:

For hotels, there is at least one permanent room which should be left vacant at all times. No matter how full the hotel is, they are not to sell that room to any guest.  It is that the special room is reserved for those ‘SPECIAL VISITORS’.

“So, if you plan to stay in some hotel, always book in advance. Try to avoid walk-ins. If the receptionist tells you there’s no more room available, do not insist to get one anymore or try to bribe them to give you a room. If you do that, most of the time the room you have will be that ‘special room’.

Sometimes those ‘special visitors’ might go to other rooms also, so here’s some tips on how to protect yourself.

1.  Before entering your room, always knock on the door first, even if you know the room is vacant.
2.  After you enter the room, if you feel very cold suddenly and have ‘chicken spore’, leave the room quietly immediately and go to the reception to request to change room. Most of the time, the receptionist will understand what’s happening.

3.  After you enter the room, immediately switch on all of the lights, and open the curtain to let the sunlight in.

4.  Before you go to bed, arrange your shoes so that one of them is upside down. Some say this represents yin and yang to protect you while you’re asleep.

5.  Always leave at least a lamp on while you’re sleeping, preferably the toilet lamp.

6.  If you’ re staying alone and they have give you a twin bed, do not sleep with the other bed vacant, try to put your things, like luggage, on the other bed before you sleep.

Here’s another tip. When you enter your hotel room, look for the Bible. Most hotels place the Bible inside a drawer, however,if upon entering, you see the Bible on the table, DON’T STAY IN THAT ROOM. It means ‘special visitors’ are there.

“If you see the Bible opened up on the table, LEAVE THAT ROOM IMMEDIATELY and request
for a change of room! It means the ‘special visitor’ is really creating trouble in that room!

Here are some tips on protecting yourself in the cinema:

Do not attend the first screening of any movies in the cinema. By the first screening, I mean the first time the movie is shown in that particular cinema. What’s the reason?

The first screening is meant for the ‘special visitors’. However, if you insist on going, then sit somewhere in the middle. The first and last rows are reserved for ‘them’. Be warned.

Ever notice the last row in your local Cineplex is always vacant? Now you know ‘who’ reserves the seats.”