Posts Tagged Laughter is the best Medicine

My mother can

My mother can

A teacher asked one of the boys in her class,

“Can people predict the future with cards?” His response was,

My mother can.” 

The teacher replied,

Really?” 

The young boy was quick to explain,

Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home”.

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Japan Fast Indian Very Fast!!!

Japan Fast Indian Very Very Fast!!!

There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!” And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!

The Japanese exclaimed, “What??… so expensive!”

There upon, the driver yelled back,

“Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!

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Clean my House

 What a Woma wants More Than Anything

 

 A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered.

 

He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not help but stare. 

 

The man noticed that he was the object of the woman’s rapt attention, and with a sly, sexy smile, approached her. Blushing, she prepared to apologize for staring, but he leaned close and whispered in her ear.

 

“I’ll do anything,” he whispered in a deep, soft voice.

 “Anything, absolutely anything you want,

anything you have ever fantasized for only fifty dollars.

There’s just one condition… “

 

Trembling with anticipation, the woman asked him the condition. The man said, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”

 

The woman gazed into his hypnotic eyes, considering the proposition, and then reached into her handbag and took out fifty dollars. She scribbled her address on a napkin, folded it around the cash, and pressed it into his waiting hand. She leaned over and whispered into his ear…

 

 

 

???

 

???

 

 

 

???

 

 

???

 

 

???

 

 

 

“Clean… my… house.”

 

 

 

 

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Laughter, teacher and child

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah” .
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.



A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

 

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white

 

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead…



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
“Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples…

 

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